****NOT MINEWARNING: QUASI ADULT CONTENT, MILD AND NEUTERED LANGUAGE AND POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE, BUT TOTALLY UNPREJUDICED PICTURES TOWARDS YOUR ELDEST FAMILY MEMBERS
At this blog we have attempted to answer some fundamental philosophical questions. Now that I can place the pictures I've always wanted to show you, I present this ongoing cause with the same features you know and love. I'll do it in a few (thousand) suppositions and few pictures, which youll have to read to understand their lack of context.
Why (do) Kamikazes wear helmets! (?)
For those that have heard this literally beaten into the floor, which is more your fault for not paying attention, the floor's fault for not having dinner ready on time, not providing adequate spousal intercourse, resisting me at the rare time when I force my way, physically, because I am big, manly, and don't have glasses, grrrrr, and not folding my laundry up to spec, because chances are that the time I told you, yeah, it was golden and magical, and you faked it. Yeah, thats right, Mrs. Floor.
You might learn a few things about the complex interaction of Japanese and American culture, help to explain to your drooling self the differences in American and Japanese culture, basic arguement, and the difference between good and bad jokes. It organismic!
You say, Mr. Bob, why must you be so insistent on answering rhetorical questions. Because I Understand Japanese Culture: Here's why
A few ways to solve rhetorical questions:
Supposition 1: "Repetition creates stress"
With Kamikazees, You laugh at the larger question, as the simple side of you says, kamikaze fighter pilots crash and die into aircraft carriers and dont need helmets...ha ha. The question asks not why kamikazes crash, what kamikazes were professionally before or after (fighter pilots, duh), but relegates the poor kamikaze guys to those kamikazes that crash and die, at any time, place, or when kamikazes feel like it.
With Kamikazeees, Lo and behold a pilot, yes even the Japanese, had something on their head. But why? I agree, pilots in general are crazy, but it's my firm belief that even crazy people (kamikazees dont forget) deserve to wear helmets and then crash and die as they should.
With Kamikazees, Your sense of arguement over the kamikazee question is how loudly and how many times you can repeat and recreate the same exact concepts relating to kamikazes.
With Kamikazees, You say "well mr. bulky you have been found guilty of some of the most relentless arguement in history, joke defying, strange beyond reckoning, jumbled and hard to understand, and thats in spite of your discussion of kamikazes"
With Kamikazeeeees, Now I have lectured for over six hours on this subject of kamikazes wearing helmets, and the lack of humor behind it, a total combined speaking time of two average human lifetimes, mostly obsessively to a few Marquee kamikaze fans, who typical of the amount of free time they enjoy, stand lazily eager and ready to devour my enlightened information on this subject of kamikazes.
Yet there remains the precipitators of vile historical untruths about the kamikaze reality. The Japanese have suffered the tortures of Godzilla and Rodan! Let us not ruin the memories of their kamikaze fighter pilots, by making bad jokes, and denegrating the service of their loyal helmets in service of kamikazes.
With Kamikazeeeeees, Now, I'm sure that many of you ragamuffin jokesters thought that your stylized, stereotyped Japanese airplane kamikaze pilots wore something like that when they crashed into aircraft carriers, perhaps with a Jets sports logo on the side to indicate a choking final game performance.
With Kamikazees, while most indications on the performance of the Jets appears to be truth, the actual Japanese kamikaze reality is that they had leather caps and goggles, that based on the historical power of our current 21st century youth, has been researched and linked to combat against Godzilla and other mispercieved Japanese kamikaze cultural artifacts. These caps, a standard feature on all pilots, even kamikazes, of the time- though not your traditional football helmet of a failing team- provided protection against the harsh weather of piloting, Godzilla, weird trading card Anime programs, and the rapid expansion of Walmart.
They were pilots before they died. Pilots wear and wore headgear. Therefore even pilots that die, on purpose, wear saftey gear, because that is what a pilot does. Repeating logic only stands to destroy the most vile of rhetorical questions. Thats it, thats the arguement......
Supposition 2: Stupid Questions precipitate stupid responses
Why do kamikazes wear helmets? Better stated.....
Does your family have something to do with your prejudice?
If you cant get your facts right, then you should shut up and stop sleeping with your own family, because incest is the origin of all prejudice, fear, cultural malice, and bad jokes. 9 out of 10 jokes are racist or prejudice and that indicates some sort of belief in you that your own family is a better option for breeding like little rabbits, an option better than any other truly normal, maybe-not-you, person in the world today.
To the skeptical user of rhetorically bad jokes:
If you can actually read and still made the joke or argued in favor of the joke, only poorly, which chances are your joke victim is more educated and stronger (genetically) than you, that means that you'd probably prefer your own family to another normal, not you human being, and that is why we are laughing at you, you kamikaze of family members. You want the jokes to stop about your indescretions, then first you better actually stop, start wearing protective gear somewhere, be a little more sensitive to helmet saftey and Japanese culture, and then stop telling things that are simply unfunny and a waste of time.
Supposition 3: Ugly or simply bad jokes or argument should always be destroyed by lengthy and tediously unfunny, but truthful, analysis and pictures.
I know the Japanese, they have those helmets for a reason. I dont understand what you are doing with your personal life, but I bet its unsafe!? But Kamizkazes have helmets, well, for protection, I think, or at least some historians believe that helmets are a natural, human, bodily outgrowth from the Japanese genome. (I saw this sad spectacle with my own eyes when I visited a Japanese village in South Central NY. To protect their honor, little kids as early as two years old, with full genetic safety potential, rammed each other head to head with their helmets at full speed. My guess is that they've been trained since birth for crashing and dying.)
This is the sad, but true, result of little children eating only fish, dressing completely in black, and fighting with swords and shooting stars instead of devouring red meat, turtle neck sweaters for men and wife beaters for the women, semi automatic guns, remote detonated bombs (instead of the individual touch of suicide), massive corporate monsters out to get us, and stinger missile launchers. If you live your entire life fearing the return of Godzilla and the nasty effects of Pikachu heroics, I think you'd make sure your child and future Kamikaze has the best diet, close range weapons, and the safest helmet available.
The boy that became Godzilla. Thats my dog there, poor thang...Wait till you see who became Rodan.......
These three Japanese boys were not wearing helmets. As a result, in a scene you didnt see in their movie, they were attacked and killed while trying to go for the eyes on Godzilla himself.
Maybe if their grandpa had been just a little safer with them, kept them away from dangerous drug dealers who knew karate and modern gun technology, kept some of the most dangerous short range weapons in the entire world away from their experimental use---- 
which would've gone a LONG way towards preventing the smallest and chunkiest, aged 8, named Tum Tum, from hitting himself on the head with a swinging mace in his first deadly weapons accident. Tum Tum is Dum Dum and dead now, because his grandfather wasnt thinking enough to provide him with a Jets helmet before sending him to die in what must've been a suicidal charge against fully skilled ninjas four times his size (many football teams are better performers than the sad story of the Jets), intelligence (lets face it, he wasnt the brightest of the 3 Ninjas) age, and a giant fire breathing monster
********There is no escaping the threat of bad saftey and Godzilla if you are a Japanese person in the world today.
I think, fellow Americans, that if you look at young kamikazees, you'll find a deep respect for their own lives, forty years before their ritualistic suicide for tactical purposes. The Three Ninjas had no such respect for their lives. Their grandad, who I am proud to report is now in prison for child abuse, also had no respect for his grandkids or the need to fight Godzilla with supposedly senseless suicide attacks, by airplane or by short range sword fighting techniques.
Supposition 4: Argue too loud and forceful, ignore the truth, and you become what you fear the most....the bully
A montage of a few cultural bullies, because of whom we dress our kids up in saftey gear just so they can survive another day.
Both princesses, they are serious trouble for all burdgeoning kamikazes. They require strong protection if you plan to die at their hands.......
Both have helmets.....No further explanation needed.......
This boy may be frightened, but hes still standing in the way of Godzilla's flames. Somebody has to protect the boat!!!
Supposition 5: If there is an answer to any rhetorical question, that answer may be found in the acting performance of Tom Cruise. Cruise IS cultural respect and equality. Cruise is HONOR
Tomo Kyoko Cruise provided the Japanese with a greater sense of their own ancient culture, so that they could modernize anyways and have giant reptile monsters attack modern and Western concieved cities like Tokyo. The Americans and the superior American economy is not really like Godzilla, nor do I mean to exactly portray Godzilla as the Walmart and the Japanese cities as poor little Japanese villages dependent solely on fish in polluted waters and high-cost computer chip and automobile technology, and I certianly mean, dont mean, do mean, to compare the results of kamikaze attacks to attacks on Godzilla, with helmets, but if there is one person who represents the perfect help to the Japanese, it is Tomo Kyoko.
And look at the final charge of Tomo Kyoko Cruise at the end of his historical biography: The Last Samuari, where his band attacked guns! If he had a Jets helmet, I think a few more of the blokes would have made it. Whats more intimidating than a hundred or more angry swordsmen with Jets helmets on?
Ok, so even in the 1400s, when Tomo Kyoko emerged from his butterfly chrysallis to bring to the world the beauty of the wacky religion of Science and take Katie Holmes finally away from the senselessly pointless and unfairly PG rated sitcom of Dawson's creek, because that show had the saftey mechanism of a rating so that we couldnt see what we really wanted to see, but you see saftey itself is restrictive but for the better public good, besides there is no greater terror to the world than the vileness of that show and the kind of lessons that Pacey and Sugar, or whatever her name was on the show, gave to many available people that I'm courting right now, and whom I'm hoping to not wait until the consumation is properly televised (like said Pacey and Sugar) and advertised, nor splendored within bad and overly analytical dialogue .......
"Run Katie run, but dont trust anyone, you hear me!!"
Supposition Six: If there is an American alcoholic beverage named after a subject in your joke, your humourous intentions are doubly likely to meet an embarassing defeat in both humor and in rhetorical defense
Now you may be in disbelief that fierce fighters, willing to sacrifice their lives for country, would sip on such a dainty beverage before their death, further raising all sorts of implicaitons about the safety of flying into aircraft carriers and the whole intoxication-during-the-use-of-motorized-sub-space-vehicles.
In fact, since my last DWI, I've found it incredibly unfair that the Japanese are given such treatment. 2000 feet adds a little more danger to the whole kamikazee, intoxicated suicide attack into aircraft carrier, and protective headgear thing....
Supposition Lucky Seven: Stereotypes never say die
A rant toward the inpenetrable stereotype: You Say: you replace one stereotype- the crazy Japanese pilots (on the left) with Jets helmets crashing into enemy aircraft carriers for no reason, with the notion that the Japanese, with their proud protective safety headgear, and fierce tradition of cheap and yet quality electronic production in the face of rapid industrialization and traditionalist violence and repression comparable to the repression of the Gun Gun people in the Star Wars movies, because I bet if you checked the labels on the robot droids in Star Wars, history and fact will show that the Japanese are responsible for the kind of mass production and concern for saftey that only the most careful Trade Federation manufactures could undertake, check the labels on the Battle Droids and you'll find the Japanese trademarks Kia and Honda, but then again who is to say that George Lucas wasnt adding a backhanded racist slap at the poor commemorators of the proud Japanese namebrand.....couldnt we argue that the Gun Guns are the traditional Japanese and the Federation, like Walmart, are the foundation and basis for all American fighter pilots, a place that would not only offer its fighter pilots protective headgear against the kamikaze offensive, but also attack, like Godzilla, all traditional Japanese kamikaze businesses, like video games companies, and instead of kamikaze honor in a firey plane crash, leave Godzilla to die and be subject to a sad and yet sadistic burial, that if Walmart had its way, would be in a coffin drapped in a meanspirited yellow smiley face.
So I leave our much pounded out rhetoric of inevitable death, hopelessness, honor, culture, stereotypes, Tomo Kyoko Cruise, etc. etc. and:
Remember that wherever stereotypes take you, whatever poor arguement you make, whatever bad joke fails at your footstep, one lesson remains for all of history:
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