Our punishment was nearly the death penalty, but instead we were forced to write our own one page death warrants, to be turned over to the mob of enviro-fascists, led by Adolph Jackie, Ass. Director of Cayuga Hall. Here is our emotional response, the actual text, a passionate defense equal to the great trials of our history- John Adam's defense of British soldiers in the Boston Massacre, the Scopes Trial, the OJ simpson trial, and the Michael Jackson molestation case:
The Importance of Recycling in Residence Halls
By Mike Capel
4/10/04
Recycling, whether it is or is not, should be an important part of everyone's everyday lives. With current concerns over global warming, pollution, and land-fill swelling, recycling provides the plant's current inhabitants with an easy but ultimately crucial opportunity to conserve space, energy, and resources for future generations.
Besides the obvious global implications, there are a number of reasons that college students should recycle in their residence halls, and recycle frequently.
The hustle and bustle of college life, including exams, overloaded schedules, and daily stress that threatens to shatter the pysche of each and every student, is only complicated when these students fail to recycle.
Dorm rooms are already small and prone to clutter and general untidiness. Add to that a tomb-like miasma from not recycling or removing trash, and the problems only compound exponentially.
The system is easy to learn. First, a student must be aware of state health codes that are threatened or even violated when they fail to recycle, hence the inclusion of all students in the campus' mandatory recycling policy. All one needs to do is utilize each of the three trash bins they are given upon arrival in sunny Oswego in the correct manner: one for bottles and cans, one for paper, and one for "true trash." By seperating the trash and recyclables, students make it easier for themselves and the recycling technicians to remove the refuse, in addition to putting a smile on Mother Nature's face.
Another important thing to know is the recycling room hours and segments. Each dorm room is required by law to recycle at least once per segment. For the Spring 2004 semester, the segments are as follows: Segment 1, January 26-February 8; Segment 2, February 9- Feb. 22, Segment 3, Feb. 23- March 7; Segment 4, March 8-March 21; Segment 5, March 22-April 4; Segmentg 6, April 5-April 18; Segment 7, April 19-May 2, Segment 8, May 3-May 16. The recycling room hours for Spring 2004 are as follows: Monday, 5-7 PM, Tuesday, 7-9 PM, Wednesday, 5-7 PMm Thursday 7-9 PM, Friday 3-5 PM, Saturday 10 am-2 pm, and sunday 11 am-1 pm and 5 pm-7pm.
The hours may seem confusing and unpredictable at first glance, but with the simple aid of a "Spring 2004 Recycling Room Hours" flyer, students should have a grip on the schedule in no time.
Students should also be aware that all garbage must be removed from their habitat before departing on long breaks, and that failure to do so will result in a monetary charge. With all those bills we have already, those are something to be avoided! Failure to recycle can also result in judicial action, a no-win situation for anybody.
Why should you recycle? Why wouldnt you? Besides the legal repercussions, students should be invigorated by their chance to make a difference in the world, to make the whole palce a little greener, a littler friendlier, and choc-full of resources such as lumber, coal, and tin, the for the children of tommorrow. Let's get it done.
Not surprisingly we were acquitted shortly thereafter.
