Here are some of my notes from work:
Found out during an eating expedition with a sordid group: Pick up lines, a ticket to enter a group's conversation, or outright harassment courtesy of Uno. Try it Chicago Style:
Try it with a Hot Bomber
According to UNO The Proper Response is this:
Drizzle it with Chocolate Sauce!!!!
Go for the Big Size
Set in the 80's Hard Rock Style. Suggested by the Space Balls Melody.
Title: "Tyler, Trackstar"
Lyrics and Stage direction by: Koop-dawg (band "True Hoyts Old-School") and Codine (band "Sangertown Scum")
Performance: in a true Rock Format. Ideally Performed by: Lead vocals: Duet of Metallica and Boy George, choir by Cannibal Corpse, Robbie Shankar, and a surprise guest(s))
opening introduction:
slow drum build up. Soloist Tyler playing Jazz solo on French Horn
Heavy, Loud guitar introduction, pick up the beat.
"Ty-ler, (Track Star)- (parentheses are Chorus (Cannibal Corpse)) firm and physically jogging in place
Heart of the Gold
Runner in life
racer of soul (Pray)- Chorus whispers suggestively, Sitar descends melodically
Sitar, Groove Organ, and bongo extensive refrain, solos (2 min 30 seconds)
Hurdles of Life cant stop him now (NO!) Chorus
cause hes passing the baton of victory (OH)(Clarinet jams with the words)
He's gonna run by you and me (Swuiiiiiiish!)
and place (oh!) place (NO!) place himself in history!
refrain, followed by instrumental
"Ty-ler, (Track Star).......
music becomes more agitated. increased intensity from sitar, Clarinet, and bongos) words are spattered out in a stream of terrible of confusion. Clearly Tyler has a checkered past......)
Ty-lers heard the gun
now hes on the run
Hes passed the drugs (OR DID HE! Sudden high pitched response from R. Shankar)
and got the bugs (can I hear it ladies? Yeah! Female vocalist pretenders from CC)
Hes left us Pert (Copyright)
our enemies' in dirt
Tyler's run to the top was biblical, but there are more than a few Mary Magdelene's along the way.
He freed the slaves (me?)
to get the babes
He stole Aladdin's lamp
and converted the pirate camp (Pray)
He killed the forty thieves
without a rollin up his sleeves (Pray here too!)
and all before the last supper of his track star night!!! OOOOH (spit out and increasingly faster)
refrain, Ty-ler, Trackstar
the choir cooes and the mood of the song turns sad, turning into a Slow rock ballad (Heavy guitar, drums)
But when Steve P came in fortieth place
the tears of sorrow him slain
Tyler took those tears and hurdled them up
And shot-put them out like a hurricane (clarinet, French Horn, bongos, organ go wild)
mood turns Bibilical and resolute
And one time Ty-ler passed for Jesus too (hummmm)
on the Big Blue Whitesboro team
He parted the Proctor and Spartan Sea
and defied evil Herod's decree (Coach)
He walked on water
and killed Harry Potter
with a knife and "magic wand" (Schazam)
(cause with the Bible in hand) he knew just what he'd dooooooo! Oh (Hey)
(choir and Boy George, Harlem boys Choir appears hidden from the stage to join the chant)
its what Jesus would do...hes doing it for you...
its what Jesus would do...hes doing it for you...
all instruments and singers, emphasis on every word
TY-LLLERRRR!!!!! HE WAS BORN TO MAKE TRACK FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(OH!)
final refrain
"Ty-ler, (Track Star)
Heart of the Gold
Runner of life
racer in soul (Pray)-
(thoughts go through the heads of the group as they ramble to the end)
Ty-ler (Trackstar), Ty-ler (bossy, just kidding, lol), Ty-ler (Heart), Cinder(Tyler), ler-Ty (Runner), Ty (Racer), Ty-ler (pray), Ty-ler (pray), Ty-ler (pray), Ty-ler (pray), To-day!!! cuts off with the last word
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Monday, December 13, 2004
LARP Conspiracy
I ask the penetrating questions:
They say Warch, Warhead, W-balls, Strange-o-Derange-o, Slickerfist, Hottie, Stein, Vader, Big Boy, Jamal, Ernie-Jamal, Matty Cakes, Dexter, Koopa, and yes even God,
Why must we pretend to be things;
-through our internet profiles (including quizzes or picture posts....Rob was the one I got to first, sorry Rob, nothing personal, http://community.webshots.com/user/robbie_bo_bobby),
-through our sappy music (yes that means you, fellow Aaron Carter fans),
-to like each other (yes you, you know who you are),
-to be part in fictitious, meaningless clubs (Jets, Red Soxs, Hoyts4Lifers, other nonsense entities),
-to not use steriods (yes you Chad Pennington, Curt Schilling)
-or wear clothes (yes, girls, you know who you are, wink wink)?
-Somehow these summaries always lose their point..like most of you...take a lesson I guess...oh well
The gravest threat to our society, besides actually caring for what people put on their profiles/away messages/blogs, stems from a developing evil element lurking around our society:
Known as LARP, or Live Action Role Playing, this secret organization actually exists, bent on creating a medieval/robot/Matrix/Lord of the Rings/Star wars/comic book/ anything involving the creation of a loser reality, and acting out those roles, here in our very own superficial community.
At SUNY Oswego, we, the anti-LARPERS (our leader being the popular Mr. Jesse Fey, Mr. Joey Cossack-the aging jokster, Mr. Jeff C.- the insessent socialite, Mr. Mike Capel- the world famous writer, and myself- the popular genius. See we have our own roles to pretend) witnessed their growing power at certian dining halls. Sitting in the center, elevated platform in the student Union, we watched their evil kingdom, witnessed their ability to encircle the native college population, and collected frightening stories of their incredibile loser ways.
Talking to one "Tomas," our very own Mike Capel noted some of their habits around campus, real life people engaging in such actions.
See if I am judgemental:
Who are these people?
Unusual- yes. Old enough to vote, drink legally, and serve their country- Unfortunately, yes. They replace your typical geek, nerd, dork, computer hacker, and instead unify around certian fantastical elements. They, like me, are akward to talk to in person.
But do not underestimate- their ugliness, ackward communication skills, glasses, ugly and un-combed hair (they dont use Pantene Pro V, nor do they gell their hair with Ultra-Mega Gel!!!!!!!!!), fishey smell (no Axe here boys), hand knit sweaters (metro-sexual turtle-knecks, no way) and coddling by an ackward relationship with their parents (quoted one family "two parents, 1-2 loving siblings- UGH- what has happened to society" righteously complained Mr., Mr., Mr(s.)? and Mrs. Pat Chris Jeanne Doe-Johnson).
All of these features are merely a disguise, like a removable pair of glasses, and Christopher Reeves undergoing the extreme make-over of both Superman and Clark Kent. When given the 12(") foot Sword of Power from the ancient He-mage of Kong "Eritrea the Wicked" (Eugene Edward Kurpluntkiss, III- double major in Calculus, Astrophysics, and a minor in creative fiction writing) (the weapon: a wet stick, covered with aluminum foil), a certian rage (more like a pre-determined story-line, though Oscar worthy in its execution) envelops our case-study, and his group of friends.
Where does this epic take place?
Waged across the ancient battlefield of Doomsfield Swamp (the center campus construction project), full of battlefield obstructions to kill the Horde's terrifying elephants (metal fences to keep drunk college kids off the dangerous construction, the elephants are sticks, or if lucky, bicycles, or whatever fantasy between their legs) or Hart Hall, a complex maze of cave trolls (the muscular fraternities who raid the building for booty), goblins (sadistic stoners), helpful priests (NYPIRGers, Green Party Members, those truly knowledgful of punk rock, or voters of Ralph Nader) or banshees (the most attractive, yet uniform, of the sororities).
How do they do it, oh so well?
They become all powerful, casting out magical spells, hacking into the mainframe, or using Han Solo's missing lightsaber techniques------- with words like "U plurbus nunam" ("I shot you with a level three fireball, with level 4 area damage" victim falls down on the ground with a pathetic yelp, incomplete disbelief that their own powers had been bested)
-or commanding "100110001" in binary code, sending out robot tentacles that have psychic powers, matched only by the Real Matrix, to cripple the enemy
(typical combat situation: Not-so-Neo: "100110001" Agent Double O Smith "what did you just say" whisper [here's where I alter your reality, and you exit the Matrix, to realize you are living in a shell])
Why are they so harmful to society?
Level Three fireballs. Good luck against that and the Matrix, when they control your future financial investments.
What's a typical day for them?
get up at 6 AM- breakfest and meditation with Yoda's voice, alone- prepare spirit for days combat
6:03- served the wrong meal, skipped in line- no complaint- add to the secret hitlist/potential Sith lords
7 AM-10PM- chosen classes- math, storytelling, fiction, science fiction, advanced computing, homework each existing minute
1:30PM- intimidation by a member of the cool fraternity on campus, codenamed here as Alpha Sigma Sigma (grrr I hate when they do that...... but to not me, no, never)
10PM- secret LARP activities: call a session of your king's council at Hewitt Union for drink and merryment, observing medieval manners of loudness, obnoxious behaviour, eating with hands (i.e.------eating all foods with their hands, drink and merryment, observing medieval manners of loudness, obnoxious behaviour, eating with hands, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud)
-brief intoxication and use of steriods- (Coke supplied from local vendors)
- 10:30 PM battle for Middle-Campus begins anew each night, with a new goal, new object of power. For example toppling the Evil She-Queen of the Cold Hart Keep (Hart Hall, room 210, check them out, boy are they weird. Them be Foreigners too)
-campus battle- 5-10 LARPers running around with plastic swords, bed-sheets as capes, Burger King Crowns, cardboard leantoos as command centers, condiment props (ketchup-blood, relish-guts, mustard-puss), until a member's death for the day(usually arranged so said member can return to the all-night study room for a pop-homework assignment the next day). Dont worry there are spells of ressurection.
-3:00 AM- video games/ internet multi-playing
5:58 AM- Sleep
5:59 AM- Neo offers them a blue and red pill....Take the blue pill and "they wake up in their bed and believe whatever they want to believe. Take the red pill and they stay in Wonderland, and He shows them how deep the rabbit hole goes.” Guess which they choose.
6:00 AM- day begins anew
BASED ON TRUE PEOPLE, TRUE EVENTS, TRUE PLACES- NAMES HAVE BEEN REPLACED, BUT CAPTURE THEIR TRUE SPIRIT.
They say Warch, Warhead, W-balls, Strange-o-Derange-o, Slickerfist, Hottie, Stein, Vader, Big Boy, Jamal, Ernie-Jamal, Matty Cakes, Dexter, Koopa, and yes even God,
Why must we pretend to be things;
-through our internet profiles (including quizzes or picture posts....Rob was the one I got to first, sorry Rob, nothing personal, http://community.webshots.com/user/robbie_bo_bobby),
-through our sappy music (yes that means you, fellow Aaron Carter fans),
-to like each other (yes you, you know who you are),
-to be part in fictitious, meaningless clubs (Jets, Red Soxs, Hoyts4Lifers, other nonsense entities),
-to not use steriods (yes you Chad Pennington, Curt Schilling)
-or wear clothes (yes, girls, you know who you are, wink wink)?
-Somehow these summaries always lose their point..like most of you...take a lesson I guess...oh well
The gravest threat to our society, besides actually caring for what people put on their profiles/away messages/blogs, stems from a developing evil element lurking around our society:
Known as LARP, or Live Action Role Playing, this secret organization actually exists, bent on creating a medieval/robot/Matrix/Lord of the Rings/Star wars/comic book/ anything involving the creation of a loser reality, and acting out those roles, here in our very own superficial community.
At SUNY Oswego, we, the anti-LARPERS (our leader being the popular Mr. Jesse Fey, Mr. Joey Cossack-the aging jokster, Mr. Jeff C.- the insessent socialite, Mr. Mike Capel- the world famous writer, and myself- the popular genius. See we have our own roles to pretend) witnessed their growing power at certian dining halls. Sitting in the center, elevated platform in the student Union, we watched their evil kingdom, witnessed their ability to encircle the native college population, and collected frightening stories of their incredibile loser ways.
Talking to one "Tomas," our very own Mike Capel noted some of their habits around campus, real life people engaging in such actions.
See if I am judgemental:
Who are these people?
Unusual- yes. Old enough to vote, drink legally, and serve their country- Unfortunately, yes. They replace your typical geek, nerd, dork, computer hacker, and instead unify around certian fantastical elements. They, like me, are akward to talk to in person.
But do not underestimate- their ugliness, ackward communication skills, glasses, ugly and un-combed hair (they dont use Pantene Pro V, nor do they gell their hair with Ultra-Mega Gel!!!!!!!!!), fishey smell (no Axe here boys), hand knit sweaters (metro-sexual turtle-knecks, no way) and coddling by an ackward relationship with their parents (quoted one family "two parents, 1-2 loving siblings- UGH- what has happened to society" righteously complained Mr., Mr., Mr(s.)? and Mrs. Pat Chris Jeanne Doe-Johnson).
All of these features are merely a disguise, like a removable pair of glasses, and Christopher Reeves undergoing the extreme make-over of both Superman and Clark Kent. When given the 12(") foot Sword of Power from the ancient He-mage of Kong "Eritrea the Wicked" (Eugene Edward Kurpluntkiss, III- double major in Calculus, Astrophysics, and a minor in creative fiction writing) (the weapon: a wet stick, covered with aluminum foil), a certian rage (more like a pre-determined story-line, though Oscar worthy in its execution) envelops our case-study, and his group of friends.
Where does this epic take place?
Waged across the ancient battlefield of Doomsfield Swamp (the center campus construction project), full of battlefield obstructions to kill the Horde's terrifying elephants (metal fences to keep drunk college kids off the dangerous construction, the elephants are sticks, or if lucky, bicycles, or whatever fantasy between their legs) or Hart Hall, a complex maze of cave trolls (the muscular fraternities who raid the building for booty), goblins (sadistic stoners), helpful priests (NYPIRGers, Green Party Members, those truly knowledgful of punk rock, or voters of Ralph Nader) or banshees (the most attractive, yet uniform, of the sororities).
How do they do it, oh so well?
They become all powerful, casting out magical spells, hacking into the mainframe, or using Han Solo's missing lightsaber techniques------- with words like "U plurbus nunam" ("I shot you with a level three fireball, with level 4 area damage" victim falls down on the ground with a pathetic yelp, incomplete disbelief that their own powers had been bested)
-or commanding "100110001" in binary code, sending out robot tentacles that have psychic powers, matched only by the Real Matrix, to cripple the enemy
(typical combat situation: Not-so-Neo: "100110001" Agent Double O Smith "what did you just say" whisper [here's where I alter your reality, and you exit the Matrix, to realize you are living in a shell])
Why are they so harmful to society?
Level Three fireballs. Good luck against that and the Matrix, when they control your future financial investments.
What's a typical day for them?
get up at 6 AM- breakfest and meditation with Yoda's voice, alone- prepare spirit for days combat
6:03- served the wrong meal, skipped in line- no complaint- add to the secret hitlist/potential Sith lords
7 AM-10PM- chosen classes- math, storytelling, fiction, science fiction, advanced computing, homework each existing minute
1:30PM- intimidation by a member of the cool fraternity on campus, codenamed here as Alpha Sigma Sigma (grrr I hate when they do that...... but to not me, no, never)
10PM- secret LARP activities: call a session of your king's council at Hewitt Union for drink and merryment, observing medieval manners of loudness, obnoxious behaviour, eating with hands (i.e.------eating all foods with their hands, drink and merryment, observing medieval manners of loudness, obnoxious behaviour, eating with hands, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud, eat with hands, loud)
-brief intoxication and use of steriods- (Coke supplied from local vendors)
- 10:30 PM battle for Middle-Campus begins anew each night, with a new goal, new object of power. For example toppling the Evil She-Queen of the Cold Hart Keep (Hart Hall, room 210, check them out, boy are they weird. Them be Foreigners too)
-campus battle- 5-10 LARPers running around with plastic swords, bed-sheets as capes, Burger King Crowns, cardboard leantoos as command centers, condiment props (ketchup-blood, relish-guts, mustard-puss), until a member's death for the day(usually arranged so said member can return to the all-night study room for a pop-homework assignment the next day). Dont worry there are spells of ressurection.
-3:00 AM- video games/ internet multi-playing
5:58 AM- Sleep
5:59 AM- Neo offers them a blue and red pill....Take the blue pill and "they wake up in their bed and believe whatever they want to believe. Take the red pill and they stay in Wonderland, and He shows them how deep the rabbit hole goes.” Guess which they choose.
6:00 AM- day begins anew
BASED ON TRUE PEOPLE, TRUE EVENTS, TRUE PLACES- NAMES HAVE BEEN REPLACED, BUT CAPTURE THEIR TRUE SPIRIT.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Criminals Should be Recycled
True story: Now I have been in alot of trouble these past few years. Besides my trafficking in Coke, manic-depression feuled by homemade alcohol, investment in the Thai trans-gender sex rings, my epic battle with the Oswego Police Department over snowplowing/towing policy, and war crimes, including but not limited to the cutting off of gentiles, firing in free fire zones, rape, and pillaging in a manner reminiscent of Jengis Khan- but nothing compares to our- my roomate Michael Capel and myself- violation of the Residential Life and Housing's recycling policy. Gasp- we failed to recycle in a two week time period. Everyone knows my general uncleanliness- stemming largely from my time roughing it in the woods of East Tennesee with the mountain men of the Boston Red Sox and the Dallas Cheerleaders....but I digress.....
Our punishment was nearly the death penalty, but instead we were forced to write our own one page death warrants, to be turned over to the mob of enviro-fascists, led by Adolph Jackie, Ass. Director of Cayuga Hall. Here is our emotional response, the actual text, a passionate defense equal to the great trials of our history- John Adam's defense of British soldiers in the Boston Massacre, the Scopes Trial, the OJ simpson trial, and the Michael Jackson molestation case:
Recycling, whether it is or is not, should be an important part of everyone's everyday lives. With current concerns over global warming, pollution, and land-fill swelling, recycling provides the plant's current inhabitants with an easy but ultimately crucial opportunity to conserve space, energy, and resources for future generations.
Besides the obvious global implications, there are a number of reasons that college students should recycle in their residence halls, and recycle frequently.
The hustle and bustle of college life, including exams, overloaded schedules, and daily stress that threatens to shatter the pysche of each and every student, is only complicated when these students fail to recycle.
Dorm rooms are already small and prone to clutter and general untidiness. Add to that a tomb-like miasma from not recycling or removing trash, and the problems only compound exponentially.
The system is easy to learn. First, a student must be aware of state health codes that are threatened or even violated when they fail to recycle, hence the inclusion of all students in the campus' mandatory recycling policy. All one needs to do is utilize each of the three trash bins they are given upon arrival in sunny Oswego in the correct manner: one for bottles and cans, one for paper, and one for "true trash." By seperating the trash and recyclables, students make it easier for themselves and the recycling technicians to remove the refuse, in addition to putting a smile on Mother Nature's face.
Another important thing to know is the recycling room hours and segments. Each dorm room is required by law to recycle at least once per segment. For the Spring 2004 semester, the segments are as follows: Segment 1, January 26-February 8; Segment 2, February 9- Feb. 22, Segment 3, Feb. 23- March 7; Segment 4, March 8-March 21; Segment 5, March 22-April 4; Segmentg 6, April 5-April 18; Segment 7, April 19-May 2, Segment 8, May 3-May 16. The recycling room hours for Spring 2004 are as follows: Monday, 5-7 PM, Tuesday, 7-9 PM, Wednesday, 5-7 PMm Thursday 7-9 PM, Friday 3-5 PM, Saturday 10 am-2 pm, and sunday 11 am-1 pm and 5 pm-7pm.
The hours may seem confusing and unpredictable at first glance, but with the simple aid of a "Spring 2004 Recycling Room Hours" flyer, students should have a grip on the schedule in no time.
Students should also be aware that all garbage must be removed from their habitat before departing on long breaks, and that failure to do so will result in a monetary charge. With all those bills we have already, those are something to be avoided! Failure to recycle can also result in judicial action, a no-win situation for anybody.
Why should you recycle? Why wouldnt you? Besides the legal repercussions, students should be invigorated by their chance to make a difference in the world, to make the whole palce a little greener, a littler friendlier, and choc-full of resources such as lumber, coal, and tin, the for the children of tommorrow. Let's get it done.
Not surprisingly we were acquitted shortly thereafter.
Our punishment was nearly the death penalty, but instead we were forced to write our own one page death warrants, to be turned over to the mob of enviro-fascists, led by Adolph Jackie, Ass. Director of Cayuga Hall. Here is our emotional response, the actual text, a passionate defense equal to the great trials of our history- John Adam's defense of British soldiers in the Boston Massacre, the Scopes Trial, the OJ simpson trial, and the Michael Jackson molestation case:
The Importance of Recycling in Residence Halls
By Mike Capel
4/10/04
Recycling, whether it is or is not, should be an important part of everyone's everyday lives. With current concerns over global warming, pollution, and land-fill swelling, recycling provides the plant's current inhabitants with an easy but ultimately crucial opportunity to conserve space, energy, and resources for future generations.
Besides the obvious global implications, there are a number of reasons that college students should recycle in their residence halls, and recycle frequently.
The hustle and bustle of college life, including exams, overloaded schedules, and daily stress that threatens to shatter the pysche of each and every student, is only complicated when these students fail to recycle.
Dorm rooms are already small and prone to clutter and general untidiness. Add to that a tomb-like miasma from not recycling or removing trash, and the problems only compound exponentially.
The system is easy to learn. First, a student must be aware of state health codes that are threatened or even violated when they fail to recycle, hence the inclusion of all students in the campus' mandatory recycling policy. All one needs to do is utilize each of the three trash bins they are given upon arrival in sunny Oswego in the correct manner: one for bottles and cans, one for paper, and one for "true trash." By seperating the trash and recyclables, students make it easier for themselves and the recycling technicians to remove the refuse, in addition to putting a smile on Mother Nature's face.
Another important thing to know is the recycling room hours and segments. Each dorm room is required by law to recycle at least once per segment. For the Spring 2004 semester, the segments are as follows: Segment 1, January 26-February 8; Segment 2, February 9- Feb. 22, Segment 3, Feb. 23- March 7; Segment 4, March 8-March 21; Segment 5, March 22-April 4; Segmentg 6, April 5-April 18; Segment 7, April 19-May 2, Segment 8, May 3-May 16. The recycling room hours for Spring 2004 are as follows: Monday, 5-7 PM, Tuesday, 7-9 PM, Wednesday, 5-7 PMm Thursday 7-9 PM, Friday 3-5 PM, Saturday 10 am-2 pm, and sunday 11 am-1 pm and 5 pm-7pm.
The hours may seem confusing and unpredictable at first glance, but with the simple aid of a "Spring 2004 Recycling Room Hours" flyer, students should have a grip on the schedule in no time.
Students should also be aware that all garbage must be removed from their habitat before departing on long breaks, and that failure to do so will result in a monetary charge. With all those bills we have already, those are something to be avoided! Failure to recycle can also result in judicial action, a no-win situation for anybody.
Why should you recycle? Why wouldnt you? Besides the legal repercussions, students should be invigorated by their chance to make a difference in the world, to make the whole palce a little greener, a littler friendlier, and choc-full of resources such as lumber, coal, and tin, the for the children of tommorrow. Let's get it done.
Not surprisingly we were acquitted shortly thereafter.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
the future ahead
WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT LIKE POLITICS, PLEASE BOTHER TO READ THIS, THESE VIEWS DO NOT REPRESENT THOSE OF THE AUTHOR OR ANY PARTISANSHIP BUT ARE MERELY AN OBJECTIVE SYNTHESIS OF THE CAMPAIGNS' ACTUAL INTELLECTUAL OUTPUT for simple/complex people like myself!
First it's important to understand why politics will change, and how certian politicians explain the relationship between fear, hope, common sense, intelligence, and your gullability. Get ready, they are brilliant! I'll boldface to guide you along .......
Hopeful thought will replace fear as the central arguement of conspiracy. There is nothing to fear but thoughtful hopeful conspiracy itself.
Using this logic here are two examples, both hopeful:
1. no one will stop our children in wheelchairs from walking again
2. we will all be drafted, including your pets
******contradiction and conspiracy will be the hallmark of competence, competence will be the simplification of incompetence based on the application and judgement of complex people. Conspiracy and complexity wont be incompetent positions because they are not simple and therefore not stupid. You are not stupid to simplify conspiracy because you are thinking and acting complex. Get it stupid?
So in order to think, have hope, and thought you must believe the complexity of ex.'s 1 & 2. This is not fearful. You are incompetent, stupid, and spreading fear if you do not believe in for ex.s 1 & 2.
******candidates will know nothing and implement them poorly OR know everything and implement them in a calculated, evil way. Simple right?
Ok, using this basic, simple logic of these two principles, enter these following examples into this formula, and see what you come out with. May all your troubles be hopeful, thoughtful, and complex. Are you worthy?:
-all our children will be able to get out of their wheelchairs and walk again, as disease will be wiped out by raisins soaked in gin.
-the flu will be eliminated as it also will be cured by raisins soaked in gin.
-those robots that deny old people their drugs....yeah they will be outsourced, raped, and pillaged in a manner reminiscent of Jengis Khan. They will experience the routine cutting of ears and shooting up, in free drug/fire zones like California and Canada.
-everyone's sexuality will be conspicuously defined for everyone's consumption. I think if you ask Boy George, youll find that he is just being himself.
-testing abroad, no testing children at home. Wrong test, wrong place, wrong time.
-women will validate themselves by getting real jobs.....not including motherhood, teaching, income less than the wealthiest one percent, etc. etc.....ok ladies dont get angry at me on this one, I didnt write it
-no death penalty for the assassin of Mother Goose, despite what The Gaurdian says
-no more grenade launchers to hunt deer and our police
-the "Plan" will be revealed
-Americans will never lose weapons/explosive/WMD stashes that were not there. Powerful stuff
-Both sides will aggree that WMD can be an individual person, who cant have had the lost stashes/people in a nation when they werent there
-we will sink in the quagmire, a foresty swamp somehwere, but I cannot figure out what and where they are talking. Bombs are heavy I think. Jailcells with important people in them cant move......Mainly moutnains and open desert in Afghanistan and Iraq though. Well the Marsh Arabs were in Iraq, but they were almost whiped out by the 90's, but we need not confuse them with the Kurds and Shias......for I think that swamp was drained.
-No longer will blood be exchanged for oil. Blood will resume its ability to pump oxygen and minerals to the human body in order to continue driving sports cars and SUV's.
-the Oil Conspiracy (no not the Coalition of the Coerced and Bribed.......Oil for Food Scandal) will be defeated, and evil corporations, like the terrorist Huggies Corporation, will cease to exist. Americans will have their oil and diapers and hate them too.
-Halliburton, the boogy man, will scare no longer....oh boy will they will be outsourced, raped, and pillaged in a manner reminiscent of Jengis Khan. ....with pleasure...... They will experience the routine cutting off of ears and shooting in free-oil zones like the Middle East.
-A Smarter, more effective way of putting it..........Oil: conspiracy as Oil for Food: Coalition of the Coerced and Bribed
-Faith can guide you in politics but it cant be found in your positions. So you can believe morals as a matter of faith but you cant show your faith or morals. As a complex compromise, in the future you can understand a person's morality but they cant be involved in politics. You can believe that the Bible leads to peace and love but you cant say that the bible led you to peace and love. You can have them but you cant eat them too.
-every vote WILL count: once, twice, three times. In fact, vote early and often and then file a law suit. Repressors wont spray 200,000,000,000 African American voters with hoses (like 2000) to keep them from voting
-Voters will completely understand both civics and the mechanical ability to vote (like driving, in which we have demanding liscences and manditory insurance, and our drivers are just perfect.........ok maybe we have a ways to go on this one)
-Americans will admit their three worst mistakes that you give them, in public. In fact why dont you start?They might be published in the New York Times anyways.......
-mostly importantly: there will be no more lies, ever, you hear me! (remember this if you comment, or get this far)
Vote for change, vote for the "smart" candidate
I dont know maybe all smart people better stay home on election day.
First it's important to understand why politics will change, and how certian politicians explain the relationship between fear, hope, common sense, intelligence, and your gullability. Get ready, they are brilliant! I'll boldface to guide you along .......
Hopeful thought will replace fear as the central arguement of conspiracy. There is nothing to fear but thoughtful hopeful conspiracy itself.
Using this logic here are two examples, both hopeful:
1. no one will stop our children in wheelchairs from walking again
2. we will all be drafted, including your pets
******contradiction and conspiracy will be the hallmark of competence, competence will be the simplification of incompetence based on the application and judgement of complex people. Conspiracy and complexity wont be incompetent positions because they are not simple and therefore not stupid. You are not stupid to simplify conspiracy because you are thinking and acting complex. Get it stupid?
So in order to think, have hope, and thought you must believe the complexity of ex.'s 1 & 2. This is not fearful. You are incompetent, stupid, and spreading fear if you do not believe in for ex.s 1 & 2.
******candidates will know nothing and implement them poorly OR know everything and implement them in a calculated, evil way. Simple right?
Ok, using this basic, simple logic of these two principles, enter these following examples into this formula, and see what you come out with. May all your troubles be hopeful, thoughtful, and complex. Are you worthy?:
-all our children will be able to get out of their wheelchairs and walk again, as disease will be wiped out by raisins soaked in gin.
-the flu will be eliminated as it also will be cured by raisins soaked in gin.
-those robots that deny old people their drugs....yeah they will be outsourced, raped, and pillaged in a manner reminiscent of Jengis Khan. They will experience the routine cutting of ears and shooting up, in free drug/fire zones like California and Canada.
-everyone's sexuality will be conspicuously defined for everyone's consumption. I think if you ask Boy George, youll find that he is just being himself.
-testing abroad, no testing children at home. Wrong test, wrong place, wrong time.
-women will validate themselves by getting real jobs.....not including motherhood, teaching, income less than the wealthiest one percent, etc. etc.....ok ladies dont get angry at me on this one, I didnt write it
-no death penalty for the assassin of Mother Goose, despite what The Gaurdian says
-no more grenade launchers to hunt deer and our police
-the "Plan" will be revealed
-Americans will never lose weapons/explosive/WMD stashes that were not there. Powerful stuff
-Both sides will aggree that WMD can be an individual person, who cant have had the lost stashes/people in a nation when they werent there
-we will sink in the quagmire, a foresty swamp somehwere, but I cannot figure out what and where they are talking. Bombs are heavy I think. Jailcells with important people in them cant move......Mainly moutnains and open desert in Afghanistan and Iraq though. Well the Marsh Arabs were in Iraq, but they were almost whiped out by the 90's, but we need not confuse them with the Kurds and Shias......for I think that swamp was drained.
-No longer will blood be exchanged for oil. Blood will resume its ability to pump oxygen and minerals to the human body in order to continue driving sports cars and SUV's.
-the Oil Conspiracy (no not the Coalition of the Coerced and Bribed.......Oil for Food Scandal) will be defeated, and evil corporations, like the terrorist Huggies Corporation, will cease to exist. Americans will have their oil and diapers and hate them too.
-Halliburton, the boogy man, will scare no longer....oh boy will they will be outsourced, raped, and pillaged in a manner reminiscent of Jengis Khan. ....with pleasure...... They will experience the routine cutting off of ears and shooting in free-oil zones like the Middle East.
-A Smarter, more effective way of putting it..........Oil: conspiracy as Oil for Food: Coalition of the Coerced and Bribed
-Faith can guide you in politics but it cant be found in your positions. So you can believe morals as a matter of faith but you cant show your faith or morals. As a complex compromise, in the future you can understand a person's morality but they cant be involved in politics. You can believe that the Bible leads to peace and love but you cant say that the bible led you to peace and love. You can have them but you cant eat them too.
-every vote WILL count: once, twice, three times. In fact, vote early and often and then file a law suit. Repressors wont spray 200,000,000,000 African American voters with hoses (like 2000) to keep them from voting
-Voters will completely understand both civics and the mechanical ability to vote (like driving, in which we have demanding liscences and manditory insurance, and our drivers are just perfect.........ok maybe we have a ways to go on this one)
-Americans will admit their three worst mistakes that you give them, in public. In fact why dont you start?They might be published in the New York Times anyways.......
-mostly importantly: there will be no more lies, ever, you hear me! (remember this if you comment, or get this far)
Vote for change, vote for the "smart" candidate
I dont know maybe all smart people better stay home on election day.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Yankee oil conspiracy
Monologue about the Yankees: Now you all must know that I do not care all that much about baseball, its outcome, or anything beyond superficial geographic attachment or momentary viewing pleasure...i.e. Philadelphia Yankees. What matters to me is correct internet language, keeping dumb voters home on election day, and suppression of the freedom to whine on the internet. But I digress...... I engaged in a lively, yet condescending, arrogant, meanspirited, racist, sexist discussion (as of course I must do), about the second game of NBA playoffs with an unnamed Milwaukee Red Sox fan, and had the following enlightening things to say:
Bulky Bob: calling spank, red sox need your help, red sox need your help
Auto response from Spank2407: Ten things that guys know about girls:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.
Bulky Bob: curse of don mattingley continues
Bulky Bob: get marc on the phone, tell i said this too
Bulky Bob: and tell your team to shave too
Bulky Bob: they are hairy
Bulky Bob: they say boston baked beans, is your team baked?
Bulky Bob: where were their punters?
Bulky Bob: silence from boston
Bulky Bob: didnt boston respond to Major events since the Sox last won the World Series:-(taken from a Yankee source) Halley's comet passed Earth... twice -We landed on the moon-Radio and tv were invented-Flagpoles were erected on the Fenway Park roof to hold all of the team's future World Series pennants. They have since rusted and been taken down.-Prohibition was created and repealed-15 presidents were elected -Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, Oklahoma, and New Mexico were admitted. -Women got the right to vote-George Burns celebrated his 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th, and 100th birthdays.-World war I, World war II, Korea, Vietnam, 2 gulf wars-The rise and fall of communism-9/11
Bulky Bob: so what about their loss
Bulky Bob: will this curse continue
Bulky Bob: did don mattingley ever play on the red sox?
Bulky Bob: did he win a golden glove with them?
Bulky Bob: who is their number 23?
Bulky Bob: a water boy
Bulky Bob: arent the players on the red sox mimicking don mattingley's mustache and hairstyle?
Bulky Bob: why cant they get their own?
Bulky Bob: and red and white?
Bulky Bob: what does that symbolize?
Bulky Bob: the red cross?
Bulky Bob: do they need an airlift to a hospital?
Auto response from Spank2407: Ten things that guys know about girls:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.
;-)
Bulky Bob: are they combat causalties
Bulky Bob: who wants to be a sock?
Bulky Bob: are they good at hand puppets
Bulky Bob: are they santa clause, being red and all, bringing the gift of loss to bostonians nowhere
Bulky Bob: why 1918? didnt they have a say, in winning before then
Bulky Bob: why not shoot for a shootable goal, such as 1918
Bulky Bob: correct that, that was when they last won, better yet 2018
Bulky Bob: set an achievable goal
Bulky Bob: build the team and you shall get rid of the name and move it someplace else
Bulky Bob: help me out here
Bulky Bob: i am just trying to understand this catastrophic loss
Bulky Bob: i understand it here, in new york
Bulky Bob: but am curious, how do they see this in boston
Bulky Bob: where are you, new yorker who likes a boston team
Bulky Bob: are you bakes
Bulky Bob: *excuse me baked
Bulky Bob: maybe am i alone in the universive
Bulky Bob: i wonder if i saw the news correctly
Bulky Bob: i guess the red sox lost
Auto response from Spank2407: Ten things that guys know about girls:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.
Now that the Yankee haters are infuriated. They are in fact connected to big Oil......Yes thats right, the Yankees are raising your gas prices......their victory parades raise demand and limit supply.......So next game I want the Yankees to loose, because I believe in nothing. Go Padres!!!!
Bulky Bob: calling spank, red sox need your help, red sox need your help
Auto response from Spank2407: Ten things that guys know about girls:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.
Bulky Bob: curse of don mattingley continues
Bulky Bob: get marc on the phone, tell i said this too
Bulky Bob: and tell your team to shave too
Bulky Bob: they are hairy
Bulky Bob: they say boston baked beans, is your team baked?
Bulky Bob: where were their punters?
Bulky Bob: silence from boston
Bulky Bob: didnt boston respond to Major events since the Sox last won the World Series:-(taken from a Yankee source) Halley's comet passed Earth... twice -We landed on the moon-Radio and tv were invented-Flagpoles were erected on the Fenway Park roof to hold all of the team's future World Series pennants. They have since rusted and been taken down.-Prohibition was created and repealed-15 presidents were elected -Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, Oklahoma, and New Mexico were admitted. -Women got the right to vote-George Burns celebrated his 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th, and 100th birthdays.-World war I, World war II, Korea, Vietnam, 2 gulf wars-The rise and fall of communism-9/11
Bulky Bob: so what about their loss
Bulky Bob: will this curse continue
Bulky Bob: did don mattingley ever play on the red sox?
Bulky Bob: did he win a golden glove with them?
Bulky Bob: who is their number 23?
Bulky Bob: a water boy
Bulky Bob: arent the players on the red sox mimicking don mattingley's mustache and hairstyle?
Bulky Bob: why cant they get their own?
Bulky Bob: and red and white?
Bulky Bob: what does that symbolize?
Bulky Bob: the red cross?
Bulky Bob: do they need an airlift to a hospital?
Auto response from Spank2407: Ten things that guys know about girls:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.
;-)
Bulky Bob: are they combat causalties
Bulky Bob: who wants to be a sock?
Bulky Bob: are they good at hand puppets
Bulky Bob: are they santa clause, being red and all, bringing the gift of loss to bostonians nowhere
Bulky Bob: why 1918? didnt they have a say, in winning before then
Bulky Bob: why not shoot for a shootable goal, such as 1918
Bulky Bob: correct that, that was when they last won, better yet 2018
Bulky Bob: set an achievable goal
Bulky Bob: build the team and you shall get rid of the name and move it someplace else
Bulky Bob: help me out here
Bulky Bob: i am just trying to understand this catastrophic loss
Bulky Bob: i understand it here, in new york
Bulky Bob: but am curious, how do they see this in boston
Bulky Bob: where are you, new yorker who likes a boston team
Bulky Bob: are you bakes
Bulky Bob: *excuse me baked
Bulky Bob: maybe am i alone in the universive
Bulky Bob: i wonder if i saw the news correctly
Bulky Bob: i guess the red sox lost
Auto response from Spank2407: Ten things that guys know about girls:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.
Now that the Yankee haters are infuriated. They are in fact connected to big Oil......Yes thats right, the Yankees are raising your gas prices......their victory parades raise demand and limit supply.......So next game I want the Yankees to loose, because I believe in nothing. Go Padres!!!!
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Violence is real
I ask the penetrating question: Why must we "hit" things; our cellular telephones, to turn on our music, to ask each other for things, our books?
We must ask ourselves: are we fostering intolerance and sexism?
Aren't we merely fostering a male dominated society through such aggression. Violence is clearly supported by such actions.
What kind of message do we send to our kids? Isn't the American dream based on calling with our phones, "nurturing" them, "negotiating" the numbers on the keypad to get the agreed upon number, and "gently" placing your lover phone against your soft ear?
Or should we POUND them, force them to bend to your will.
He who "hits it up" commands the illegal drugs, before he gets arrested.
He who "hits his books" shows those writers what exactly you'll do to them if they don't give you the information, the early morning before the test. And most of all:
He who "hits the cell," rules the world. Literally after it is beaten, you have to power to contact anyone in the world.
For the sake of gender balance, I urge you to stop beating your goods.
They say Warch, Warhead, W-balls, Strange-o-Derange-o, Slickerfist, Hottie, Stein, Vader, Big Boy, Jamal, Ernie-Jamal, Matty Cakes, Dexter, and yes even God, why do you write these pointless away messages/blogs/profiles? Why do you have a personality disorder? What gripe do you have against the internet?
I say, ask me in person.
We must ask ourselves: are we fostering intolerance and sexism?
Aren't we merely fostering a male dominated society through such aggression. Violence is clearly supported by such actions.
What kind of message do we send to our kids? Isn't the American dream based on calling with our phones, "nurturing" them, "negotiating" the numbers on the keypad to get the agreed upon number, and "gently" placing your lover phone against your soft ear?
Or should we POUND them, force them to bend to your will.
He who "hits it up" commands the illegal drugs, before he gets arrested.
He who "hits his books" shows those writers what exactly you'll do to them if they don't give you the information, the early morning before the test. And most of all:
He who "hits the cell," rules the world. Literally after it is beaten, you have to power to contact anyone in the world.
For the sake of gender balance, I urge you to stop beating your goods.
They say Warch, Warhead, W-balls, Strange-o-Derange-o, Slickerfist, Hottie, Stein, Vader, Big Boy, Jamal, Ernie-Jamal, Matty Cakes, Dexter, and yes even God, why do you write these pointless away messages/blogs/profiles? Why do you have a personality disorder? What gripe do you have against the internet?
I say, ask me in person.
Monday, September 27, 2004
Of all the intelligent developments in the past 1.98 billion years nothing compares to the importance in meaning of the following expressions, developed, and used in a most satisfactory manner by young teens:
lol- wow "ha" or "I am laughing right now sitting and looking at my electronic device" is SO not cool
lmao-I didn't know this was possible. The depths of human expression, truly, are furthered by this jewel.
brb, gtg- easy switch from the lovely and convenient "b" to the personally close "r" and the amazing "g" to the awesome "t" on the keyboard and back. Unbelievable Genius
brt- can you feel the urgency??? So romantic this word is...................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................
k- the omission of the "o" is tres cool
u- the new power of refering to the second person. Ghetto dreams for everyone
b4- great letters such as "b" deserve to paired with numbers such as "four." 4, yes thats what that gorgeous number looks like. When the American language was invented in 1980, I bet they realized that some words had numbers contained in them???? The founding fathers were geniuses.
BTW- there is no better way to let someone know what you are about, to say something more, but with passion.
Vowels (aeiou 123456789) are strangled between puritanical (those "no voting before you are 18" ppl) consonents. Use them lightly. Keep them liberated, balanced between the same consonent, or at the end of your word. For example "U" or "lol"
****Special note: vulgarities such as BYOB insult the reader, saying to them "bring your OWN beer," a hostility for any visiting guest and offensive in normal conversation. Use the common practice "BB," simply "bring beer." The "o" is literally smothered, its your own precious vowel. (There is no American way to express the English "Be Back," the commonality of this word is such that you should not use it in this manner.)
****general rule- lss lettrs is bet, hlps so mch to mini ur con + sve tme on tping. U dnt tlk to ppl anymre in prsn, y wate tme on tping the rght thng. Gr8er rnge of exprssn.
.,':;[]{}?!CAPS- the most repressive parts of our culture they control our lives and their use is insensitive to everyone
do you see how much the youth of the nation have saved us what communicative ability they have spent their time and efforts strenously developing
if you have more of these cultural treasures please comment
fight the english language power!
lol- wow "ha" or "I am laughing right now sitting and looking at my electronic device" is SO not cool
lmao-I didn't know this was possible. The depths of human expression, truly, are furthered by this jewel.
brb, gtg- easy switch from the lovely and convenient "b" to the personally close "r" and the amazing "g" to the awesome "t" on the keyboard and back. Unbelievable Genius
brt- can you feel the urgency??? So romantic this word is...................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................
k- the omission of the "o" is tres cool
u- the new power of refering to the second person. Ghetto dreams for everyone
b4- great letters such as "b" deserve to paired with numbers such as "four." 4, yes thats what that gorgeous number looks like. When the American language was invented in 1980, I bet they realized that some words had numbers contained in them???? The founding fathers were geniuses.
BTW- there is no better way to let someone know what you are about, to say something more, but with passion.
Vowels (aeiou 123456789) are strangled between puritanical (those "no voting before you are 18" ppl) consonents. Use them lightly. Keep them liberated, balanced between the same consonent, or at the end of your word. For example "U" or "lol"
****Special note: vulgarities such as BYOB insult the reader, saying to them "bring your OWN beer," a hostility for any visiting guest and offensive in normal conversation. Use the common practice "BB," simply "bring beer." The "o" is literally smothered, its your own precious vowel. (There is no American way to express the English "Be Back," the commonality of this word is such that you should not use it in this manner.)
****general rule- lss lettrs is bet, hlps so mch to mini ur con + sve tme on tping. U dnt tlk to ppl anymre in prsn, y wate tme on tping the rght thng. Gr8er rnge of exprssn.
.,':;[]{}?!CAPS- the most repressive parts of our culture they control our lives and their use is insensitive to everyone
do you see how much the youth of the nation have saved us what communicative ability they have spent their time and efforts strenously developing
if you have more of these cultural treasures please comment
fight the english language power!
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Shocking Expose on Music
From the Awarding Winning Lecture series, the newly recovered secrets of American Music and Society that the departments dont want you to hear!!!!:
Rick Holland, fine American music teacher, said the following things in all seriousness:
The American Revolution happened between 1732-1776(.......youll note, astute historians or 5th graders, that of course the Declaration of Independence was written in 1776)
-"George Washington got into his chariot, or whatever they rode in back then"
-how many times can Rick play one song? Ever hear of Barbri Allen, we have- eight times (once a class)- in one class- one Babri Allen, "Jesus wept" X4, Chester X5
-"English Lanauge isnt rythmic, not easy to grove to" (rick sings only rhythmic languages other than english)
-"Music appreciation classes play music that is meant for rich white people" (we are in a gen ed.class)
-"my brother is flaming gay" (if you arent offended)
Hey if you missed class today here are my notes on Romanticism and Nationalism: first topic- "The Germans are all about conformity, Americans are all about individualism......Americans were worried about building the country and fighting Indians, not writing music"-verbatim and in this order
"The learned have learned from the commons that they were more different. Rockefellar (the Gov. of NY or the Industrialist) set up the SUNY System. Didnt he have alot of money? Isnt equality in education the ideals of nationalism and romanticism?"-
"very few of you look fundamentally religious"
-"from my uncomfortable lecture on menstraul shows"Rick Holland, American Musicologist
This should provoke some discussion, please respond to these critical issues.
Rick Holland, fine American music teacher, said the following things in all seriousness:
The American Revolution happened between 1732-1776(.......youll note, astute historians or 5th graders, that of course the Declaration of Independence was written in 1776)
-"George Washington got into his chariot, or whatever they rode in back then"
-how many times can Rick play one song? Ever hear of Barbri Allen, we have- eight times (once a class)- in one class- one Babri Allen, "Jesus wept" X4, Chester X5
-"English Lanauge isnt rythmic, not easy to grove to" (rick sings only rhythmic languages other than english)
-"Music appreciation classes play music that is meant for rich white people" (we are in a gen ed.class)
-"my brother is flaming gay" (if you arent offended)
Hey if you missed class today here are my notes on Romanticism and Nationalism: first topic- "The Germans are all about conformity, Americans are all about individualism......Americans were worried about building the country and fighting Indians, not writing music"-verbatim and in this order
"The learned have learned from the commons that they were more different. Rockefellar (the Gov. of NY or the Industrialist) set up the SUNY System. Didnt he have alot of money? Isnt equality in education the ideals of nationalism and romanticism?"-
"very few of you look fundamentally religious"
-"from my uncomfortable lecture on menstraul shows"Rick Holland, American Musicologist
This should provoke some discussion, please respond to these critical issues.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Point of Information
Its official:
W stands for Walker
Walker Texas Ranger
Walker that our child uses
Walker Talker
Anything otherewise would be an historical inaccuracy.
My poetry, "and thoughts about my personal problems, so you all can read, well probably not, unless it has some kind of lie or gossip, or something funny, but I will write it anyways cause I know you are reading this, you know who you are, but chances are that if you are any person reading this you believe that I am specifically refering to you when I write this, but in reality I am really talking about the one thing that makes me most happy, besides dazzling intelligence, monstrous, ahem, talent, an impeccable ability to make many words mean nothing, and an ego to rival those abilities artfully mentioned by myself, but soon you will realize, if you have gotten this far, that bad grammar, poor sentance structure, and my overblown tendancy to ramble has forced you to learn some fatal self doubts that I have in myself, my ability to communicate with regular people and continue this rant towards poetry, which outlets everything I can think of, that in fact my flaws are so worrisome to me that I cannot find but one song to greatly express my paralyzing problems, in my comfortable home, healthy family, reasonable and acceptable standard of living, and lots of loyal and adoring friends, (but besides the fact my 3 mintue time limit for writing this is nearly over), but anyways to summarize all of this i would say to "lets get it started it in here (at the same time HA) lets get it started it in here (doubled by the female vocalists)" by the new great lyricists/musicians of our time"
My poetry:
Gray
low mileage
Nissan
Sentra to my life
by Me
the Anti-Profile
W stands for Walker
Walker Texas Ranger
Walker that our child uses
Walker Talker
Anything otherewise would be an historical inaccuracy.
My poetry, "and thoughts about my personal problems, so you all can read, well probably not, unless it has some kind of lie or gossip, or something funny, but I will write it anyways cause I know you are reading this, you know who you are, but chances are that if you are any person reading this you believe that I am specifically refering to you when I write this, but in reality I am really talking about the one thing that makes me most happy, besides dazzling intelligence, monstrous, ahem, talent, an impeccable ability to make many words mean nothing, and an ego to rival those abilities artfully mentioned by myself, but soon you will realize, if you have gotten this far, that bad grammar, poor sentance structure, and my overblown tendancy to ramble has forced you to learn some fatal self doubts that I have in myself, my ability to communicate with regular people and continue this rant towards poetry, which outlets everything I can think of, that in fact my flaws are so worrisome to me that I cannot find but one song to greatly express my paralyzing problems, in my comfortable home, healthy family, reasonable and acceptable standard of living, and lots of loyal and adoring friends, (but besides the fact my 3 mintue time limit for writing this is nearly over), but anyways to summarize all of this i would say to "lets get it started it in here (at the same time HA) lets get it started it in here (doubled by the female vocalists)" by the new great lyricists/musicians of our time"
My poetry:
Gray
low mileage
Nissan
Sentra to my life
by Me
the Anti-Profile
Friday, September 17, 2004
A compiled list of Movie Theater Fighting Techniques:
-Tagteam: date
-basic attack: punch to the face
-Morphing: Acting like Spank
-Most popular attack: punch to the crotch
-Combo: swipe to the back of the head/swipe with legs to shift the opponent's focus and balance
-preferred weapons : keychain whip, spray bottle of acid, poison in drink, broom swords, Artic Blast Chemical Weapons for Clothes- Blue Radioactive and Red Napalm, metaphorical knives
-God Mode: be like Warch
-Finishing move: ripping the opponents face off
-Tagteam: date
-basic attack: punch to the face
-Morphing: Acting like Spank
-Most popular attack: punch to the crotch
-Combo: swipe to the back of the head/swipe with legs to shift the opponent's focus and balance
-preferred weapons : keychain whip, spray bottle of acid, poison in drink, broom swords, Artic Blast Chemical Weapons for Clothes- Blue Radioactive and Red Napalm, metaphorical knives
-God Mode: be like Warch
-Finishing move: ripping the opponents face off
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Word Processors, especially menus, offer the keys to all your life questions: heres a tasty example:
"Use the Lotus NotesFlow Action menu
Lotus NotesFlow is a set of workflow features that allow transparent interaction between a Lotus Notes database and other programs such as Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, and Microsoft PowerPoint.
NotesFlow features can also be used to route forms, send reminders, request and process approvals, and run scheduled batch processes. When Word is participating in NotesFlow, an Action menu appears to the left of the Window menu. The Action menu displays each of the available actions as commands.
The commands available on the Action menu depend on how the Lotus Notes form is designed. When you design a form in Lotus Notes to use the NotesFlow feature, you publish the actions you want to make available in other programs that support NotesFlow.
The Lotus NotesFlow features require Lotus Notes 4.0 or later. For more information about how to use Lotus NotesFlow, refer to your Lotus Notes documentation." (Word 2000) Hope that helped. Now you have a reason to step back from your brink.
Lotus NotesFlow is a set of workflow features that allow transparent interaction between a Lotus Notes database and other programs such as Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, and Microsoft PowerPoint.
NotesFlow features can also be used to route forms, send reminders, request and process approvals, and run scheduled batch processes. When Word is participating in NotesFlow, an Action menu appears to the left of the Window menu. The Action menu displays each of the available actions as commands.
The commands available on the Action menu depend on how the Lotus Notes form is designed. When you design a form in Lotus Notes to use the NotesFlow feature, you publish the actions you want to make available in other programs that support NotesFlow.
The Lotus NotesFlow features require Lotus Notes 4.0 or later. For more information about how to use Lotus NotesFlow, refer to your Lotus Notes documentation." (Word 2000) Hope that helped. Now you have a reason to step back from your brink.
-coming soon- more on movie theater fighting techniques
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